“I will always try to be a light to someone else’s life, no matter the circumstances. Mom lets you and I talk to the high school about addiction, let’s write a book and take photos. You and I, mom, we can do this together and save lives.”
- Emily Irene Adams  (1998-2020)

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Ashley Adams

Advocate & Teen/Young Adult Ambassador

My sister Emily was six years older than me and someone I looked up to growing up. When I was 12 yo, Emily left for Arizona to start her journey in the recovery of her substance use disorder and her willingness to get the help she needed for her disease of addiction. As devastated, heartbroken, and confused as I was when my older sister left, I knew she needed help to fight her battle against SUD (substance use disorder). My sister was more than her addiction as she was the most caring person I knew and always had an open heart for others. Whenever I needed advice or help with school, I would just text her and ask, and she seemed always to have the perfect response. The most important thing she taught me, however, was to have FORGIVENESS for anyone and everyone.  The addiction controlled her but did not define her. She helped and served many people with the disease of addiction by bringing them into recovery and eventually worked as a Peer Support in a recovery center.  She was living her new life of celebrating sobriety. My sister Emily left this earth on the morning of my 16th birthday, April 28, 2020. She was given a "fake pill" by someone that was fentanyl. She thought it was a Percocet and passed away in her sleep from fentanyl poisoning. There were no other substances in her system.
Unfortunately, 911 was never called to give her a chance at life. I  wrote her a note telling her how thankful I was to call her my sister and placed it on her hands before we placed her to a final resting place. Though she is not here today, she will continue to be my role model as given me the gift of serving others by creating an awareness of the dangers of fentanyl and resources in finding help for SUD. She is guiding me through my life choices and decisions every day. My passion for helping others has only grown stronger because I want the message to be known that people are MORE THAN THEIR ADDICTION; everyone has a story. Spreading awareness and talking about addiction should not be shameful, and everyone deserves to get the help they need. YOU MATTER no more stigma, no more shame.

Message to peers: Fentanyl is easy to get and accessible on many social media platforms, and its presence continues to grow at high rates. Don't ever take any pill and substance offered, even if it is from someone you know. Fentanyl will kill, and the chances are of you living another day is unlikely. 

Message to loved ones: Fentanyl is taking the lives of teens as this may be their first introduction to illicit drugs. Substance use comes with red flags, but with how easy it is to purchase "fake pills" that are fentanyl on social media, there are no red flags. So it could be the very first time your loved one uses an illicit drug. Please talk to your kids about this epidemic and create awareness. LISTEN to our VOICES. You don't have to have the disease of addiction to die from fentanyl poisoning. We are fighting to SAVE LIVES.

The Journey

"A child's first footstep is just the beginning of many more footsteps in the journey of life."
- Cath Adams
February 13, 2017 the day I said to my sweet daughter  “This day is the first day of the rest of your life”. Early the same morning my husband and two younger children shed a million tears and embraced our daughter and older sister with fear and hope at the same time. The day, myself and my daughter departed on a flight from our Colorado home to Arizona to begin her journey in a recovery center for substance addiction that was stealing every bit of her life. Her soul,  built with amazing  compassionate for others was trapped and prisoner inside her fragile frame of skin, bones and sunken face.  Our sweet beautiful girl who just turned 18 was being taken away from herself and family by the use of drugs  feeding her disease of addiction. Her last three months of  high school senior year were spent in Arizona in a recovery home.
Shortly after dropping our daughter in Arizona to commence her journey, I was given the official news of a cancer diagnosis.  Our family was faced with navigating through two different major life events and two separate treatment plans. We needed systems of support in which we found within our community.
I was truly blessed that my body freed itself from cancer but still searching and holding onto HOPE as our daughter continued to struggle with her addiction of substance. Her life was a story of traveling  in and out of rehab centers, sober living and  living in a "trap house" where drugs traveled throughout the household. We prayed, struggled without enabling and began seeing HOPE as our daughter and older sister to her siblings began to face substance in the eye and fight everyday to free herself. She has now embarking on a sober life and reaches out to others who are struggling with substance. Though everyday can present  a challenge in recovery she has gained strength to build upon a healthy lifestyle.

April 28, 2020 we received the most heartbreaking devastating telephone, Emily passed away from accidental fentanyl intoxication. She had been suffering from extreme tooth pain and ended up purchasing, what she thought were painkillers, from another individual. Unbeknownst to her, she was given fentanyl that had been pressed to resemble counterfeit prescription pills. As her toxicology report ultimately showed, but for the disguised fentanyl, she was clear of all other substances. Emily always said, "I will always try to be a light to someone else's life, no matter the circumstances” and this was truly how she lived her life. Emily will never have grey hair or even a wrinkle, but what she had was wisdom beyond measure. Emily's motivation in life was to serve others with her genuine gift of heart. Emily gave back to our community in remarkable ways for a person of her young age. Emily suffered from the disease of addiction and it was something she fought extremely hard. She knew she was not her addiction; her life was more than that. She reached out to others to help them navigate this beast, brought many into recovery and ultimately saved lives. Emily's dream was to go on a speaking tour, reach out to teens and write a book sharing her journey. In her 21 years, she gave more HOPE than most can emanate in a lifetime. Throughout her life Emily opened many eyes to the importance of being present for others and understanding the chaos of addiction. NOW she will guide me in continuing this road of HOPE in walking with others on their recovery journey.

Given my "lived experience" that contains many layers of learning how to be a support and the process of addiction, recovery and grief, I have vowed that I will never let any parent, family member and the one with the disease of addiction walk alone. I launched Aperture of Hope to support those in recovery and families of addicted loved ones by connecting with community.